Walkthrough Part VIII: The Space Station of Hate
So, here we are. The final “level” of the game. You’ll quickly find that this is one of those “three trials” kind of affairs: you have to pass three obstacles before you get to the “final boss.” Actually, four – ‘cos there’s a little warm-up puzzle right at the start. This is the part of the game that really seems to get on people’s tits. So without further ado, let’s snuggle up:
You’re supposed to figure out the rules of the puzzles on your own, but there’s always a hint to be found in the taunting information screens – read them carefully. If you’ve ever played The 11th Hour, you know how this infuriating philosophy of puzzle design works: it gives you a very obtuse clue, and you’re supposed to figure out all sorts of things based on tiny specks of information. I’ll spell ’em out for you here, so stop reading now if you don’t want to know.
There’s a code lock to the first room. What’s the code?
The hint is, “if you’re half as smart as you think you are, the answer is easy as pie.” The answer is the first six digits of pi, divided by half. Just ignore decimals. Google’s got a built-in calculator AND knows the digits to pi, if you’re really lazy.
The first room: What am I supposed to type into the computer?
The label for this room in development is ‘anagram room,’ because that’s exactly the sort of bullshit we’re dealing with here. The clue is “ponder the opposite of a navel orgasm.” Now, “a navel orgasm” is an anagram for “love anagrams.” The opposite of which is to “hate anagrams.” So type in “hate anagrams” and the door will open.
The second room: How do I get across the electrified tiles?
Well, you could just save/restore through it. But here is how I intended for you to solve it: The clue is “everything is front to back and right to left.” Start by numbering the floor tiles from bottom right to top left. Now, pick up the post-it on the wall. The numbers tell you which tile to step on, except it’s also written in reverse.
Bug report: You’re supposed to be able to read the post-it by clicking the “Look” cursor on it in the inventory. But I got a bug report that the mouse cursor disappears when you open the inventory and thus can’t look at the note. I’m looking into it, but other people have managed to get past the puzzle fair and square, so I’m wondering if this has happened to anyone else? Drop me a line if this has happened to you.
The third room: How do I get past that huge fucking spider?
The clue is “everything will be peachy.” Grab the four bottles (blue, yellow, red and white) from the table and mix them until the liquid turns a peachy color, then give that solution to the huge fucking spider. The correct combination is yellow -> red (which turns orange), then orange -> white (turns peach). (Yup, you don’t use the blue bottle at all.)
Save your game in this room, because if the liquid turns brown, you’ve done something wrong and will be irrevocably stuck in an unwinnable situation. Yes, this is a total dick-move, and it’s absolutely on purpose.
How do I get past the “final boss”?
If you didn’t look around the spaceship long enough to find a certain item, all you can do is tell him you give up.
However, if you picked up the lamp from the trash in the spaceship, you get … er, tossed out of an airlock. But honestly, this is the real ending to the game. Thanks for playing!
« Back to Part VII: The Spaceship
- The space station itself (when seen from the outside) is made up of several different ships and space stations. The most obvious one is the revolving space station from 2001: A Space Odyssey. I think there’s a vacuum cleaner in there somewhere, too. Now that I think about it, I should’ve put R2D2 in there – sorry, guys, he’s not.
- The doors in the space station should look familiar to you, if you owned a computer and drew breaths in 1994: they’re the standard doors from Doom.
- The huge fucking spider is in tribute to the “final boss,” who frequently uses the image of a huge fucking spider in his reviews.
- Recognize the “final boss'” army? It’s comprised of Dark Troopers from LucasArts’ Dark Forces and Bob-Omb’s from Super Mario.